April 2010 HumorScope

ARIES: Take a walk! The stars are not asking you to leave, they really do want you to take a walk off a short pier.
TAURUS: You're the go-to person at work. “Go to get me a cup of cocoa!” “Go make a copy of this!” “Go to the parking lot and scrape the ice of my windshield!” Yep, you’re the go-to person.
GEMINI: Your financial plans are progressing. As you save, big temptations come your way. Do you really need that boat? On the other hand, you NEED M&Ms.
CANCER: Travel bargains seem to be everywhere and your urge to go is strong. Beware of that special travel package which promises a tropical vacation, unless you’re heavily into volcanos and earthquakes.
LEO: Keep in touch with people important to you, because they're great to suck up to. But don't turn your back on someone wears a “Cthulhu Lives” button.
VIRGO: You could be called this month to serve jury duty. You’ll notice the defendent, the guy with the hatchet in his hand, keeps looking directly at you and giggling. Your charm helps.
LIBRA: Whether they realize it or not, some people go a little crazy with the full moon. So if your partner, co-workers or waitresses grow hair all over their bodies, just learn to accept them as they are.
SCORPIO: You don't have to wear brass knuckles to prove you are tough. You need to wear a brass toupee.
SAGITTARIUS: This is a good time to tell yourself that you will be able to handle any surprise that comes your way. Beware of co-workers who sneak up behind you and shout “SURPRISE!”
CAPRICORN: Your good communication skills will fail when you are interviewed, and the interviewer asks you to name your greatest weakness. PLEASE do not tell him or her about your G.I. tract problems! AQUARIUS: Are you sure your way is the best way? Do you feel that you HAVE to have everything your way, listening to no one? You may have a great future as a member of Congress.
PISCES: There's someone who is in need of the best you can give right now. It’s your Aquarius friend, but they won’t listen to you.